


so i'll try to hold on (just for you)

by irish_gold



Series: drabbles [8]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Niall's sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:02:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1963035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irish_gold/pseuds/irish_gold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Niall stares at him as if waiting for Zayn to breakdown and cry or at least show some sign that he's not okay. But he doesn't. <em></em></em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	so i'll try to hold on (just for you)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this whilst talking to [Ian](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinwonderland/pseuds/lostinwonderland) and originally it was a Niall Horan/Zhang Yixing drabble, but I changed it because... I wanted to post something. Anyways I hope you do enjoy it, feedback is much appreciated. xxx
> 
> (I do apologise for the lack of updates I'll try to write more often to get things out.)

"You can leave right now, and I wouldn't blame you." Niall says quietly.

 

Zayn didn't know how to respond instead he looks down at his notes, trying to read the notes he had taken about nature vs nurture from his child psychology class, but all he can see are blurred words and intangible sentences.

 

Niall speaks again, louder, thinking that maybe Zayn hadn't heard what he said, "You can leave right now--" he doesn't get to finish his sentence because he feels a solid ball hit him in his face.

 

Zayn glares at him, "Will you shut up? I'm not going to leave you. Just because some doctor gave you a bad diagnosis doesn't mean I'm going to leave you."

 

He means it.

 

He doesn't care that maybe in a year or two Niall will be 2 yards underground.

 

Zayn doesn't care that in a week he will see Niall bed ridden and being tested on.

 

He really doesn't care about that all, "But if you do--" he doesn't let Niall continue what he was about to say, instead he rips a page from his notebook and balls it up and throws it at Niall's face again, he says, "I won't. Now will you please be quiet? I've got exams coming up that I need to revise for and I can't do that if you keep interrupting me."

 

Niall stares at him as if waiting for Zayn to breakdown and cry or at least show some sign that _he's not okay_.

 

It takes him a moment to realise that, no, Zayn will not have a mental breakdown, and no, Zayn will not get up and leave.

 

He let's out a breath of relief and turns back to his own notes, seemingly content with what he's seen on Zayn's face.

 

They stay like that for another hour, glancing at their notes, trying to get as many terms memorised as they can.

 

(Zayn doesn't get any revising done, he's to busy trying to convince himself that crying won't solve anything and that getting up and leaving won't cause anything but heartbreak. To the both of them.)

 

_

 

Nothing changes.

 

Niall is still the same person he'd been before the diagnosis.

 

And Zayn doesn't understand why.

 

He doesn't understand why Niall can still spend hours on the sofa lazily playing his guitar, can still waste time doing absolutely nothing, and not breakdown once.

 

He doesn't get it, shouldn't he have changed? Shouldn't he have done everything in his power to not be lazy? To do something with his limited amount of days instead of just wanking and playing his guitar?

 

He asks him this one day, they're preparing dinner (well Zayn is, Niall's just sitting on the counter. Doing nothing.), "Why've you not changed?"

 

Niall turns to look at him a bewildered expression on his face, "What're you talking about?"

 

"You. Why haven't you changed? Why are you still the same as before?" Zayn asks again, he can't bring himself to look away from the pot of rice on the stove.

 

Niall sighs, "I haven't changed because nothing else has changed." He pauses before saying, "Why don't... Let's go out to eat, yeah? Go somewhere moderately fancy, some place we can both dress up and look like fancy prats, how's that sound?"

 

Zayn turns off the stove, turning to Niall he nods his head, "Yeah. That sounds nice."

 

_

 

(They end up getting kicked out of the restaurant for public indecency. But they don't really care. Zayn is just happy he got to eat food and got a stupefying blow job from Niall.)

 


End file.
